i want a summer night,

a summer night where it's light

until nine o'clock

and the warmth wraps around my body,

blazing my skin, making it hot

to the touch.

the sun sets all around me,

colors abound, spread across the sky,

and laughter, well, obviously, it's in the air,

all around, as the heat

settles in my dry throat,

as i gasp for air, with droplets of sweat

crawling down my face, cooling me off.

                       ***

the only heat wrapped around me

is the warmth of my blanket.

hold my cold hand to make it warm.

see my hot puff of air outside,

smoking up the cold.

i know the sun still bathes the sky

in color above the clouds which are gray with snow.

here come the first flakes,

as tears crawl down my cheeks, freezing on their way.

it is really disorienting to wake up at six in the a.m. and hear christmas music. first, i don't have any clue what time it is, day, week, or month. c'mon, ladies and gents, thanksgiving isn't even for another week.

speaking of thanksgiving (which i am really excited for), last night, at work, one girl thought thanksgiving was next friday. oh my dear Lord. where have you been all your life??? seriously, welcome to america. it has not changed, last time i checked. wow.

work has been even more psycho. one of the other girls in the office and i were basically accused of being immature, dishonest, and having stolen $100. what is with people these days? we are definitely the last people who would steal the money. this is our part time job (even though we do work 30-odd hours a week). we aren't that hard up for cash. we would never do that. there were some computer malfunctions, which i believe is the answer, but i guess the higher ups don't.

she and i aren't allowed to work together anymore because of the situation, but my favorite front-end manager kindly explained that's pretty impossible, expecially right now because i have school all day and the other girl has her mom to take care of. at least, the guy understood that it may take awhile for this to happen.

oh, and she and i worked together last night, and we were spazzing out. we thought we had lost $200 and were frantically searching for it. unfortunately, we had to freak out until 10 o'clock (when we close) so we could do the final paperwork. luckily, we weren't short, it was just with all the paychecks getting cashed, money had been stuck in the wrong place. shoo. we were soooo relieved. thank goodness.

i feel like i blog the most when i'm trying to avoid work. and this time is no different. i have a stupid research paper. granted, it's on yeats which is fun, but i just can't get into it and my topic is somewhat narrow for what i would like to do. *sigh*

the house is in an semi-uproar because both of my sisters' schools sent home letters about myspace.com and told parents how to access it. of course a lot of kids, especially girls, have whore-ish pictures and suggestive things on the site and my one sis bad mouths my parents. sweet. facebook is somewhat similar now that there are more opportunities to put pictures up with the photo album thingy. too many people have trampy pics. and they wonder why people think they are whores. i don't get it. i find it so annoying when there are pictures like that up. that's like halloween when so many girls dress up as sex slaves in one form or another. i know i'm somewhat biased because i don't really like halloween to start with, but still. why do these girls/young women want to degrade themselves that way. especially when some of these are the same ones who are fairly feminists (at least with some of my friends). whatever. i don't get it.

so, i signed up for next semester classes and i'm taking one winterim - four saturdays - and six mon, wed, and fri classes. they're all in a row, so i don't get a break, but three of them are with my friends. i tried to switch classes again so all of them would be avec mes amies, but it didn't work out. oh, well.

so, life is all right. me and the b/f are muy bueno for the most part. he's still having money issues which frustrate the hell out of me. i just don't know what to do to get him to grow up about all of it. i keep having this dreadful feeling if he doesn't straighten up soon, i'm going to have to break up with him to get the message across that this is serious and i'm not wasting my time on someone who's not serious about us, especially after a year and a half, almost two years. if that were to happen, it would definitely fall under the category of "hardest thing i'll ever have to do."

a quote from one of my fave movies:

"I know it hurts. But it's life, and it's real. And sometimes it fucking hurts, but it's life, and it's pretty much all we got." -Garden State

and just an amusing one:

"Weather forecast for tonight: dark." -George Carlin

wow. the past weekend and yesterday have been craaazy. so, friday night i got to see ren. she came home for the weekend and i went over her house. we watched some fucked up movies. one was called "nothing" and ended with two heads bouncing around in a world of big white nothing. interesting, c'est vrai? and then we watched "amityville horror" which was pretty damn scary. we were soooo freaked out. last, we watched this spanish movie called "bad education" because it was had gael garcia bernal whose freaking hot. that was really fucked up. there were pedophile priests, gay little boys, druggies, drag queens, and tranvestites.  it was really confusing. and then we fell asleep.

and on about three hours of sleep, i drove back to work and worked seven hours, saw boy that night and woke up at 430am instead of 530am because my cell phone time hadn't switched over to daylight savings yet. damn phone. i then woke up again at 615am and rushed to get to work at 630am. i learned how to open the store- counting money, etc.- and then our opening cashier didn't show up. sweet. so, we were running around for a little while. after working nine hours, i went home and slept through "gothika" which mi madre and mon petit-amie were watching.

the next wonderful monday morning, i woke up bright and early to take my sister to school. funness. after a long day at school, i arrived at work early to find everything fucked up. sunday night, the girls who were working in office had totally messed up. and the opener had abandoned the store early in her shift, so no one was covering in the office. to add to that, our manager quit, which sucks 'cause i really liked him. he was my favorite so far. and i met our new manager and do not like him already. grrrr. so, work is totally a soap opera. wonderful.

oh, well. that's my life right now. everything's just crazy. i can't wait until winter break when i have off for a month and a half. i only go to school for four days. nice. so, for once, i can't wait for winter.